Pictures are in May 2009
My long, detailed birth story below.
Sunday Evening (Mother's Day:
My water broke at about 6:45 pm. I was on the birth ball and had a small gush, I initially thought I had peed a little bit. I sat back down on the ball (sitting on sweatpants) and about 5 minutes later had a bigger gush, obviously my waters. I called L and confirmed taking a clove of garlic & 1000 mg vit C every 2 hours (I had no contractions so wanted to do everything I could to stave off infection). My temp at 8:00pm was 97.6. I layed down per L to count kicks (7 in 15 minutes) and to do a kegel when getting up (after a 1/2 hour) to verify it was my waters. Before I did this I gushed water a few more times, in toilet and on white diapers, seeing the fluid was clear with white streaks and no meconium.
Note: Some of this was recored in present time and some in past time so it's a little weird :)
I took a shower with new smell good soap which reminded me of a past vacation. L and M played Uno and then we did bedtime stories. After my water broke, I felt my patience finally return, in my mind I knew this could be the last night of our family of 3 and it made me a bit sentimental. L had to get up for a bit of PB&J because he felt he didn't get enough to eat. He ate a little, we brushed teeth again and he went to bed with Marc, who was still planning on going to work (M's note: I work from home, so I wasn't leaving her alone) the next morning unless I went in to active labor.
I just ate cheddar cheese, crackers, a granny smith apple and a marshmallow treat. I'm having a little wine to relax and try to get some sleep. I'm now having rather large gushes of water (I'm wearing a pad which I'll have to change before I get into bed). They may be going with contractions or not? My contractions started as painless uterus tightenings and are now uterus tightenings with maybe a wisp of cramp to it. Nothing at all like what I was feeling last night. We'll see how it all progresses. It is amazing to have my water break after it not happening the first time around. It is wonderful and exciting, but not easy to deal with in bed. I wish I could just be pantless and letting it flow on a towel instead of a pad.
I am feeling a bit bummed that I cannot find my birth story for L. He was very interested in the amniotic fluid. Wanted to see it and wanted to watch it come out of my Yoni, in his words. (Which didn't happen, but he did see some on the floor) I'm really hoping he'll be able to be a part of this and that I'll be perfectly fine with that.
12:27AM
Just had 2 crazy painful contractions. I cannot get to sleep :( Had bloody show.
M called his boss and sent out email, he's not going to make work in a few hours.
12:56AM
Sent L an email/text about my contractions being less than 5 minutes apart and less than a minute long.
Called L to wake her, she initially thought it might be early so I told her I'd take a shower.
1:02
That half hour flew.
Contractions are less than 5 min?? About a minute or less in duration.
2:12
More blood - Intense, humming through each contraction.
Shower helped, ran out of hot water because we started filling the pool - L called and said she and J were coming out. I'm grateful, M is much relieved.
I labored on the birth ball rocking between contractions, standing during contractions. I had to vocalize through it. Kind of an Ohm, trying to keep my mouth a jaw loose, because my butt and legs were tensing. There was no more looking at the clock, I felt a strong need to be in one place to handle contractions.
I had had a vision of cooking food, making hummus, cutting veggies in early labor. There was no way, it took everything to handle contractions and to relax between them.
L arrived and J not long after. I let them know I was bleeding with almost each contraction. They felt the bleeding was still normal. I also let them know I was feeling pain in my butt in some contractions. I remember telling then (even at this point) that this made the Caesarean look like a walk in the park. Now, I wonder if that is entirely true. I think there is some blurring of the c-section after it being so long ago.
They checked baby's heart, which was good. After awhile they asked if I wanted to have a cervical check to see if I was ready for the pool. They did the check, which was easy, unlike the 2 checks I had in my first pregnancy. J said I was was almost 5 centimeters and if I could offset my pelvis that might help baby's position. I did some contractions one knee up on futon and kneeling with one leg up. Not too long after they had me get in the pool. I was able to greatly relax in between contractions, but scrambled to take the intense pain of the contraction. M rubbed my back in the pool and was a great consolation. He was playing my birth affirmations in the background for awhile and then later I requested XTC. Just having him there to talk to made me feel "normal". I got out of the tub to try to pee, and started laboring on the toilet. It was horrible, but a bit more managable because my body wanted to bear down.
It seems so short reading above, but all in all labor was 7.5 hours. The contractions were SO much more that I ever expected. They took everything to get through. I had expected to labor mostly in silence, but I was the exact opposite. I never really considered the hospital, but I did think about epidurals and how I could never manage a contraction in the car to even get there.
When L took some pictures it was hugely comforting... I remember thinking if she's taking pictures than things are going okay. I never thought about emergency transfer... which I had worried about in pregnancy. Somehow, even though the work was enormous, it did not feel wrong or unsafe.
I'm not positive if I tried to get back to the pool or if I decided to just stick to the bathroom at that point (M's note: you decided to stay in the bathroom which is the smallest room in the house, just a few hours earlier you were telling me how some women chose to give birth in their closets) the toilet just seemed to make it manageable and it was not long before I began to feel an uncontrollable urge to push. I had the thought running in my head that maybe I shouldn't be pushing, that perhaps I wasn't dilated enough and I was risking swelling my cervix, but I'm not sure I could have stopped and stopping didn't really enter my mind.
Transition was 1.5 hours long (I believe I was told), and it was rough. Really, really rough. I remember thinking that It was now too late for an epidural. I did manage at some point to get down on the bathroom floor on hands and knees. The urge to push was so massive and I felt it in muscles I didn't know I had. My vocalizations were SO much more than they were during contractions. It hurt a lot! I started pushing to GET THAT BABY OUT. I started saying "Come out baby" and it just escalated to a degree I never imagined. It seemed SO long before I felt the baby start to descend. One he was in the canal and I felt a tiny bit of head, I got excited and then frustrated, because I felt him go back a little after each push. I felt like my pushes were not doing anything, yet the were so strong and hard and BIG (and loud). Finally, he started coming out and that "ring of fire" was there and it HURT. With every push that ring of fire intensified and got worse. At some point, I believe once his head was out, I heard instructions to push him out and I pushed and pushed and did not let up until he was out. I felt SO amazed he actually came out. I could not pull him up to my chest, his cord was so short (may be why pushing took so long?). There was never a thought of breathing the baby out, never a thought of supporting my perineum, never a thought about tearing. I just needed to make that pain stop! It's funny now that I had the baby in the smallest bathroom in the house (thank goodness M moved the litter box). I had fully expected to birth in the pool, but that bathroom turned out to be the "safest" place I could be.
L slept through the entire labor up until sometime in transition. It was a blessing because I think it would have scared him much more to see so many hours of that intensity. When he came in he soon asked M to read a book with him in the other room. They came back just as the baby came out. When he learned it was a boy he said, "I changed my mind, I wanted a boy!" He's very happy with his little brother, he loves to hold and stroke him. He did admit to me later that my noises were a little scary. I guess I should have prepped him with more than possible "moos". Immediately after the birth he was bringing me snacks and sips of coconut water.
I lost some blood and was given various herbs. It was hard pushing the placenta out, but it did need to get out. I have a second degree tear and some labial "skid marks" that are making urination no fun at all. This was hands down the hardest thing I have ever done, but I did it. My midwives, my husband and just being in a safe environment (my home) were huge factors in making it. Repeating to myself that I could do this (and that I was, in fact, doing this) was huge too.
After it was over, I said I could never judge anyone for using a epidural again (Or a catheter or IV for that matter). I also thought very strongly, never again.
A day later and after some sleep, it seems further away and now I think, I did it, I can do anything, including giving birth again. I'm really glad and was a little surprised that none of the "I had a caesarean" fears didn't crop up. I didn't fear rupture or fear that my body was broken. I do feel like I have a lot of physical healing to do.
The baby, yet to be named, is amazing and beautiful. He started off alert, trying to nurse but not quite latching. A couple hours later and he's got it down and is doing great. He looks a lot like L did when he was born. The first night at 9:30pm, L told me the baby needed to pee and poop, and grabbed his "top hat" potty. We caught the first pee and poop! We also caught another pee last night (and have missed plenty as well). Nothing like jumping right in :) (Marc's note: I've been pooped on twice so far.)
Oh, and he smells amazing. That vernix, amniotic fluid, blood smell. He smells like birth and newness and it is wonderful.
No comments:
Post a Comment